By: O.L./Sway Buckley
I wish I learned this earlier.
I came into my marriage with unrealistic and warped expectations. It wasn't long before it all hit the fan.
Because of these misaligned expectations, I would find myself disappointed often. That disappointment would turn into frustration, leading to impatience with my husband. We all know that never ends well.
But there we were.
In a cycle of shortness with each other rather than understanding and grace.
I was determined to get to the bottom of it.
After much prayer, honest conversations, and self-reflection, I began to see where I was drifting.
My frustration with my husband was often rooted in comparing him to me.
I expected him to think like me and work like me. But he didn't.
I didn't marry myself; I married him- and it broke me that I didn't respect that.
I remember we used to get intense conversations because when it came time for him to create his portion of our content (for the podcast or social media), it would take him at least three times as long to write it out.
I was always baffled and wondered why it took so long ( I can chuckle about it now).
Finally, it dawned on me to ask him, since he is such an eloquent orator if it would be easier for him to speak his thoughts instead of writing them as I did. His eyes lit up, and we hadn't looked back!
I grabbed the phone to use the Otter.io app to dictate his words.
It was beautiful.
His brilliance shone through (and he was quick with it because it was most natural to him).
We never thought about changing the mode because we used the mode that was comfortable to me: writing.
That one shift has uplifted our hearts in so many areas. Now, I'm quick to ask if there is a different mode he prefers. I'm also aware that his capacity is to go deep on a few things, whereas I often can juggle many tasks back to back. He needs more margin. My job is to help him have it.
I'm honored to protect his brilliance every season so we can shine bright together.
I trust this brings hope to your heart if you're in a challenging season in marriage. We pray and have regular legacy meetings to keep communicating If you're a marriedpreneur couple who wants to include marriedpreneur legacy meetings, we've created a free checklist for you. You can grab it here.
Here's to living purposefully, powerfully, and profitably in sync,
O.L. & Sway
O.L. is a former banker turned real estate consultant and entrepreneur. Sway is a former CEO of a staffing firm she started on her dorm room floor to pay for college. Together they co-own Marriedpreneur Life Consultancy, equipping faith-based married entrepreneur couples with high-level systems to scale (without strain). They're the creators of the Marriedpreneur Operating Systems and the co-hosts of The Marriedprenuer Life Podcast, which was praised as one of Wedding Wire's top relationship podcasts. Learn more at MarriedpreneurLife.com.