By: O.L./ Sway
My wife Sway knows she can ask me for nearly anything, and I'll find a way to say YES.
It would have to be something ridiculous and unreasonable for me to say NO 😅
That's why when she asked me once while we were in Barcelona can we jump on a bullet train and shoot over to London for the day-I told her no. First, there was newsworthy civil unrest in London then, and our flight was scheduled to leave Madrid the following week.
All I could imagine was us getting held up in London for whatever reason and missing our flight back to the U.S.!
Sway had been to Europe long ago, but this was my first time, making it our first time together.
World travel has always been and continues to be high on our list of desires. We know full well that it's going to cost money to see the world.
We've always had more vision than resources and always said… Let's trust God for it all.
We both get that we play a role in seeing things come to fruition. We both tend to immerse ourselves in whatever we're working on to show drive, focus, and initiative.
All the more in business.
It was this level of focus that hurt our marriage. Neither of us could see it as first. Both of us can be very intense when we discover something we enjoy and there's an apparent goal in sight.
When we were dating, I was heavy into my music-I and hyper-focused on 'making it happen.'
And that same level of intensity never changed after we said,' I do.'
I've since learned that focus can create blind spots.
You wouldn't think so, being that nearly every life coach and self-help book teaches the importance of focus.
Don't get me wrong-I'm in no way suggesting that 'focus' in and of itself is terrible. I'm simply saying that focus can unknowingly make us blind to critical responsibilities and the people around us.
And it's easy to justify all in the name of passion and business.
During our time in Spain, we both agreed that if we were to enjoy the trip together truly, we would need to relax and give attention to what was most important.
Trying to see everything Europe offered in a 12-day trip would not make us happy.
And likewise, trying to build a business empire in 30 days would only make us miserable.
Just like when we decided to soak up all we could between Barcelona and Madrid and make memories there, we also knew it was essential to document the incredible journey.
We've learned to document our moments of discovery in business and marriage, especially since moving to The Garden State. This allows us to capture moments and relive them. But more importantly, keep making memories (not for The Gram, but for ourselves). This was a hidden link that contributed to us having a happy marriage and a healthy business. They have to be kept in perspective.
There's no pressure in documenting for the fun of it. Documenting allows us to track progress while we learn critical lessons along the way.
I must admit that It wasn't easy.
Being intense and passionate about business can become an obsession if you let it.
The same thing that drives you can also drive you crazy. Our drive for business has not gone away and can easily pose a threat if allowed. However, we continue to practice shutting our work brains off each day by being prayerful and being 'gangster' about our time together.
Note: O.L. is a former banker turned real estate consultant and entrepreneur. Sway is a former CEO of a staffing firm that started on her dorm room floor to pay for college. Together they co-own Marriedpreneur Life Consultancy, where they equip married entrepreneur couples with high-level systems to scale without strain. In short, couples gain tools for marriage and business success. They're the co-hosts of The Marriedprenuer Life Podcast, which was noted as one of Wedding Wire Magazine’s top relationship podcasts to listen to as a couple in business. Learn more at MarriedpreneurLife.com.