By: Dr. Phyllis Bivins-Hudson
I found this study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health that states, “…daughters who have close relationships with their fathers are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. They also tend to have higher self-esteem, greater confidence, and a better ability to handle stress and emotional challenges.” Feb 18, 2023.
There is no question that the power of a father’s love is magical. So, during June, when the spotlight is on fathers for Father’s Day, I thought I’d look at some of the magic brought into the lives of “Daddy’s Little Girl” and what that means to us “girls” no matter how young or how old we are.
Foremost, any female who has a healthy relationship with her father or the man who stands in the gap as her father usually has a special bond between them.
They can tell stories about their relationship to which no one else has been privy. Generally speaking, these relationships are unique even when more than one daughter is involved.
Fathers play a critical and pivotal role in their daughters' lives. When their relationship is properly nurtured, dads introduce their daughters to the ways of success, happiness, and well-being, shaping their lives for life.
Another study by the National Fatherhood Initiative contends that “…daughters who have involved fathers are 90% less likely to engage in substance abuse and other risky behaviors.”
Because there are so many single-parent households where many daughters do not engage in risky behaviors, one might find it hard to believe that fathers play a crucial role in this.
However, when the father-daughter bond is intact, fathers provide the kind of modeled behavior, guidance, support, and structure that daughters need to avoid situations dads know will set their daughters on a collision course.
By having a healthy relationship with them, daughters are often in a better position to make more informed decisions. While daughters can also be mom-pleasers, the desire for dad’s approval is different.
These are practice opportunities daughters experience, which provide them with future benefits helping them to avoid some of the stress and challenges encountered during adulthood when tough life decisions have to be made.
Believe it or not, when a father-daughter bond is tight, he can be the impetus for his daughter’s avoidance of some of the risky behaviors associated with his daughter’s development.
For instance, an involved father’s love and guidance can help his daughter avoid becoming a victim of substance abuse, including alcohol and drugs. Rather than resorting to alcohol or drugs to soothe their pain, Daddy’s support and guidance positions her to make healthier choices.
When dads are involved in their daughter’s lives, according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, “A father's love and guidance can also help prevent early sexual activity…”
This happens when a father communicates openly and honestly with his daughter about sex and relationships. She can then make evidence-based decisions and understand the potential consequences of her actions.
And we all know in today’s cultural climate, there is a dire need for Dad’s involvement as well as our entire community. 
Would you believe that a father’s love for his daughter can also play a role in her food choices?
Yes, a study conducted by the University of Maryland says that “…girls who have involved fathers are more likely to make healthy choices when it comes to diet and exercise. This is because a father who encourages his daughter to make healthy choices can help her develop positive habits and a strong sense of self-worth.”
Involved fathers may also inadvertently play a role in their daughters’ career choices. When these choices are left solely to moms and their daughters, they might not consider some of the typical career choices made by men.
For instance, a father might suggest she pursue a career in STEM, whereas this consideration may not have been without his input and attention to his “pride and joy.” And, of course, with a career in STEM, a daughter is more likely to also pursue a place in higher education.
We all know many fathers are not in the home with their daughters; however, a father's absence doesn’t negate the modeling of a healthy father-daughter relationship.
To the extent comfortable, Dad should explain the circumstances around what went wrong so that he can begin to further develop the relationship between him and his daughter.
In that regard, a dad in a new relationship can still demonstrate how a father treats his daughter and how he interacts with another partner if his daughter’s mother is not a part of the current relationship.
When he shows his daughter and his significant other the kind of respect due a daughter and/or a significant other, he is teaching her how men should interact with her. When this is the case, she begins to learn about boundaries, respect, and, most importantly, her non-negotiables.
These teachings will set her on a course for a healthy adult relationship with a partner. It doesn’t promise that she won’t fail or that she will have a perfect relationship—because there is no such thing as a perfect relationship—but it will provide her with some important guidance that she may otherwise not have should that all-important relationship between father and daughter be absent totally.
When all is said and done, we need to recognize that Father’s Day is bigger than a single day of recognition and a necktie. We must also recognize the tremendous impact and power a father’s love and involvement have on his daughter.
So, to all the dads, as a gift to yourself today, understand it is never too late to kindle a relationship with your daughter(s) or improve on the one you already have. She will thank you the next time she’s faced with a situation that turns out favorably because of your influence.
Until next time, keep flying on your own wings.
