By: O.L & Sway Buckley
New Jersey has one of the nation's lowest divorce rates at just 12.7 per 1000 married people. -KggLaw.com
This stat is excellent news. However, it doesn't let us off the hook for investing in marriage. It gives us a reason all the more to keep improving our marriage, primarily via communication tools, because, at the same time, we're given other stats that aren't so pretty.
According to recent research, ongoing communication difficulties are the number one reason couples divorce in the United States. According to one study, 67.5% of marriages that ended did so primarily due to communication problems. Communication is the foundation of a successful relationship.
-Regain.us
To be clear, you don't have to be on the verge of divorce to learn how to overcome toxic communication conflicts. It's best NOT to wait until it gets to that point. But couples in business together (either working or supporting one another) have significantly more opportunities for communication mishaps. This is expected; however, they become toxic when the necessary tools are missing.
As marriedpreneurs especially, these tools are more than a good idea. They are required for a healthy marriage that can build a strong business.
First, let's break down what toxic vs. typical communication conflicts look like.
Typical communication conflicts don't attack your spouse's character, whereas toxic communication conflicts go after your spouse's character. It's a subtle but significant difference.
Here are keys to helping overcome toxic communication conflicts as marriedpreneurs for good:
- The first step is often the most overlooked. Remember that you're talking to someone also created in God's image. Dignity and respect start here.
- Next, listen to understand, not respond. Otherwise, you'll miss the heart of what's being said, creating a toxic environment of defensiveness instead of trustworthy vulnerability. Defensiveness in communication is always shallow and never hits the root issue.
- Refrain from assuming you understand what is being said and prematurely respond by confirming you fully understand what is being said. The reason is words hold different definitions and 'baggage' with them. Instead, hop to #4.
- Repeat back to them what your understanding is of what you heard. Keep doing this until you have a clear understanding and it is confirmed.
These tools have worked WONDERS for our marriage and our business as well. We can practice implementing every day (so we remember). Our daily legacy meetings are the easiest and most intentional way for us to practice. As marriedpreneueurs of a growing company, we must put these skills to practice until it's second nature.
If you're a marriedpreneur couple seeking to improve your marriage and increase your business with legacy meetings, you can grab our free PDF training download here.
O.L & Sway Buckley founded Marriedpreneur Life, equipping faith-based marriedpreneur couples with high-level systems to streamline and scale a business without strain. Take a listen to the MarriedpreneurLife podcast at MarriedpreneurLife.com.