By: O.L. and Sway Bickley
I used to think when having conversations with my husband that he was either checking out of our conversations or downright ignoring me.
I knew it wasn't like him to do either, but it frustrated me.
Whenever I asked him a question, and he didn't answer right away, I would say,' Did you hear me?'. Initially, he would snap back with a "Yes! I heard you; give me a minute to think about my response!" 🙃
This went on for years until one day, I explained that when he didn't reply right away, I doubted if he was still tuned in. I asked from then on if he needed a bit more time to say, "I heard you. I'm just thinking about my response." That settled my nerves right away.
Today, we don't need either as much. But that exercise helped me realize he was not a verbal processor like me. He usually internalizes his answers and, in turn, gives a thoughtful reply. I, on the other hand, think while I'm speaking. It helps me clear my head and sort out my emotions when bottled up.
Learning to respect and appreciate each other's different ways of processing information for marriage and business has been a great asset. I've learned to take more time before speaking about something, and my husband has learned to talk more openly about his thoughts. He now discloses, "What I'm about to say is pretty raw, and I may change my mind later." This works for both of us and has built a new layer of trust and a safe place for raw emotions without judgment.
We practice this in our daily legacy meetings in the morning but even more so in our closedown daily routines. We can share where we are emotionally and mentally, knowing we will support each other. If you want to incorporate these convos, start with our free Marriedpreneur Checklist here.
Here's to living purposefully, powerfully, and profitably in sync,
O.L. & Sway
O.L. is a former banker turned real estate consultant and entrepreneur. Sway is a former CEO of a staffing firm she started on her dorm room floor to pay for college. Together they co-own Marriedpreneur Life Consultancy, equipping married entrepreneur couples with high-level systems to scale without strain. They're the co-hosts of The Marriedprenuer Life Podcast, which was praised as one of Wedding Wire's top relationship podcasts. Learn more at MarriedpreneurLife.com.