By: O.L./Sway Buckley
Men feel overwhelmed.
It's not like you're going to hear us say it aloud. As men, we typically don't voice our frustrations. In turn, that's frustrating to others.
How often have we heard, "He won't talk to me!" or "He won't let me in?"
I'm not saying that is right or healthy.
However, it's a reality partly because we use silence to get things done.
When men face demanding situations that fall into the non-negotiable category, we must find ways to muster the strength to forge ahead.
Giving voice to feelings when responsibility is great feels draining and counterproductive.
So we don't. When the pressure is on and stakes are high-we've learned to flip a switch. In other words, we firm our minds to finish the job.
By doing this, we can appear stoic and aloof, but deep down is a pool of emotions.
I've found at least three things to watch out for when I'm tempted to "flip a switch" to fulfill my responsibilities and manage my thoughts.
First, it's good to watch out for resentment toward others. Primarily your wife and family. Seeing others as the cause and cure for feeling overwhelmed is natural.
The truth is that we stockpile toxic thoughts without articulating how we're feeling productively.
Second, it's better to talk before than after the fact. I'm we've all heard the expression, timing is everything." You know you well enough to sense the early tremors of overwhelm.
Tell your wife what you're feeling when you feel it, not complaining, but in a way that helps you process it in real time. The key word is process. Ask her, "Am I thinking about this right?"
Lastly, say to yourself and your wife, I will do what needs to be done. And when this is over, can you help me carve out some downtime?"
In other words, engage her to help you protect yourself from adding more to your plate and anyone else, for that matter. And yes, ask her not to add something more for a few days.
All I'm suggesting is because we as husbands know how to flip a switch and grit it out doesn't mean holding everything in. You don't have to hold everything to hold it all together.
However, we must keep it together by letting it out productively.
This helps to put your approach to our capacity and priorities into perspective. But a healthy mindset is only the beginning.
If you've been seeking systems built on a healthy attitude to keep marriage and business from competing, schedule a free success mapping call with us here.
Here's to living purposefully, powerfully, and profitably in sync,
O.L. & Sway
O.L. is a former banker turned real estate consultant and entrepreneur. Sway is a former CEO of a staffing firm she started on her dorm room floor to pay for college. Together they co-own Marriedpreneur Life Consultancy, equipping faith-based married entrepreneur couples with high-level systems to scale (without strain). They're the creators of the Marriedpreneur Operating Systems and the co-hosts of The Marriedprenuer Life Podcast, which was praised as one of Wedding Wire's top relationship podcasts. Learn more at MarriedpreneurLife.com.