By: O.L./Sway Buckley
It would be easier not to say anything.
It seems better to keep the majority of your thoughts to yourself.
It might even seem safer to ignore when you're offended.
In some instances, this would be true. There's absolute security in keeping our mouths shut in the right situations.
However, there's a difference between burying your emotions and appropriating (processing) them.
Too often, as men, we tend to either bury what we feel or express everything we feel.
This kind of pendulum swing is not only unhelpful, it's immature.
One of the marks of being a mature adult is not reacting to everything by emotions.
People who let their emotions lead their behavior do damage to families and businesses. This is easy for adults to spot in children more than ourselves.
Building a business can be filled with constant triggers.
Building a business with your spouse is no less accurate.
So, what do we do as husbands, leaders, and fathers?
How do we appropriate feelings of offense, inadequacy, and just plain exhaustion?
In keeping with the first two principles from last week's article, we use the blessing of self-control as we practice being quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19-20).
This is important because life isn't just how or what we say but also when we say it.
I've learned something essential as my wife and I work to build our family legacy through business and ministry.
Instead of speaking raw at will, I've learned to say, "This is not good for me right now. I'll wait until later today, or once we leave to express my thoughts."
No, that's not weak or passive. What's weak is to fly off the handle as though my words have no significant weight or impact.
I'll repeat this: "Relationships determine value, and value determines impact. As husbands, our words should be measured and edifying without omitting the essence of what we feel."
Because words matter, and who says them matters even more.
If you're looking for insights on systems that help keep you two working powerfully in sync, get on the Q4 FinishStrong Waitlist.
Here's to living purposefully, powerfully, and profitably in sync,
O.L. & Sway
O.L. is a former banker turned real estate consultant and entrepreneur. Sway is a former CEO of a staffing firm she started on her dorm room floor to pay for college. Together, they co-own Marriedpreneur Life Consultancy, equipping faith-based married entrepreneur couples with high-level systems to scale (without strain). They're the creators of the Marriedpreneur Operating Systems and the co-hosts of The Marriedprenuer Life Podcast, which was praised as one of Wedding Wire's top relationship podcasts. Learn more at MarriedpreneurLife.com.